Friday, January twentythird twothousandnine, eleven:thirtyone:pm

I haven’t been left so tired because of happiness in… the longest time. I feel like I just crawled into a batch of the freshest soft linen with a smile on my face and sweet memories on my mind; one of the best feelings in the world.

Also, this helps;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_8GXidgNWc

See it. Hear it. Sing it.

Things to do:

• get priorities straight
• re-organize bookshelves (for fear of being overstocked and exploding)
• do survey thing which I’ve been tagged in three times so many times it’s annoying
• write angry letter to Aldo, for broken earrings.
• figure out future; write it in stone
• get rest of school supplies
• get money back

The end.

PS: What if I want to have my own schedule? And do the lazy things I want to do? Sick of working so hard during my vacation. Sick of being forgotten through all the sound. Sick of having people step all over me because it’s my job. Sick of people with one-track minds thinking I’m lucky. Sick of putting things off because I’m too tired, and getting to the phone too late, once it’s morning and I didn’t hear it ring at two a.m. Sick of people telling me they love me when I don’t say it back because I don’t mean it, or saying it back because I eventually feel forced to. That’s. Not. Love.

So what is?

*gets high on green grapes*

Blimp.

So I just painted my nails, and now I’m waiting for them to dry so I can go to bed. It has just occured to me that I am usually waiting for something to become shriveled//juiceless//depleted//droughty//etc. before going to be. Ex: my hair after a shower.

I’ve been away from the computer for DAYSSS now. I really don’t know what I’ll do when I go back to school, because I have grown used to being without a proper schedule. Which is why I’m thinking of quitting IGA; will it become too much? Transportation is such a hassle. Then again, if I do quit, what would it be for? To concentrate on more important things, right? But… what if I don’t know what I want to do in life anymore? For the first time, I’m finding myself worrying about the slightly immediate far-away future.

Which brings me to another question.

How far should you push someone away, if it means saving another person you love equally as much?

Some things just aren’t fair. I wish compromise was possible. I wish I had a real choice, instead of an imposed future I felt myself swindled into picking. How far do you stray from your own wants and needs, in order to be there for someone else?

This probably doesn’t make much sense, but it does to me. I’ll explain it to Becs and Wiwi in the U.N. maybe.

Speaking of which;
I’ve been feeling +/- anti-social with the world during this Christmas vacation, but I can never put enough time aside for those two. <3 If I had to cut my world down to five people, I could do it without breaking a sweat. I don’t know if that means I’m wise, picky, or just plain heartless.

Sometimes I feel like the world is too choosy, and doesn’t uphold the right values. Sometimes it feels like its one big beauty contest, and I think: Whatever happened to being au naturel?

The good thing about this little realization is that I have gone back to being obsessed with reading. I can’t wait for the next time I’ll return to Indigo, and I hope I’ll be able to uphold my resolution of reading a minimum of one non-educational book per month.

It’s 1:05AM so I won’t put any reviews in here toute suite, although I do plan on writing tons up soon. (:

I’ll go wash up my cereal[s] bowl now, hopefully finish Mysteries of Pittsburg before dozing off. I have work for the next three days in a row, so don’t expect tons of updates. I have a busy schedule ahead of me. D: (Although all I want to REALLY do on my last week before school starts is to spend nearly 24/7 with friends, but… what can you do. :/ )

NightPompeii. ♥

764//798

One of the things that gets me down the most is when a friend doubts my word. If you’re my friend, it’s because I like and respect you, and wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you in any way. I don’t talk behind a friend’s back unless there’s a problem in the relationship that I need a second opinion, help or advice on. I avoid lying as much as I can, and this is especially true of people I hold in high esteem. It’s not like I sit at home, plotting and planning how I can next bring someone down with mind games. If we’re friends, then I trust you to be honest, because that is what I will be with you. Even if it sucks.

So even though I appreciate the bluntness, it still sucks to find out that someone you trust doesn’t feel the same.

I guess I can understand…

but just have a bit more faith in me?

Phosphoric Acid.

I’m sick of

• pointing fingers
• hushed voices
• standards
• watching people fail at proving themselves to people who already have an adamant opinion of them
• excuses
• pointless conversations
• everything changing (because of one talk)
• everything staying the same (despite progress)
• materialism

I want to

• have people accept flaws
• fill my lungs with words
• offer a helping hand
• stand up to bullies
• give a wake-up call to self-centered people
• say: “I’m going to stop pretending this is going somewhere.”
• have things be fair between two
• have things be calm between the two
• ditch the credit card

It sucks seeing both sides of the coin.

I hate being called lucky for not being in the midst of the wreckage. Being on the outside looking in isn’t what I’d define as ‘luck’.

I want to laugh again.

I want to have a conversation with him again.

It’s been too long.

Let’s chat about nothing for two hours again, shall we?

I like not being able to see where it’s all going.

Happy News Years. (:

Now let’s go back to New York.

a sanctuary. a small safe place in a troubling world

TAGGED_BY_COFFEEHERO

Hello Salmonheadsoup audience, this is General Coffeehero speaking like a thief on the run after having robbed a bank or two in the swedish land of Europe and beyond. This is only a quick passage to tell you a few things like:

-pikachu is no flying pokemon

-arthur IS, despite various beliefs, a mouse. (HA!)

-poopoo

-…YES!

i love lilian+becca.

Donc…

I’m at Winsane’s house, and my fans are clamoring an update.

I do not turn down my most devoted listeners.

Becca’s socks don’t match.

But that’s okay, it’s still fun to be on the bottom of a human sandwich with her. And Winsane, with her fluffy robe.

I think I’m going to leave my account open on her laptop, just to see if she will do anything to itoronit.

I like Winsane’s room. It’s very simple, and that’s what makes it so nice. Her stack of CDs isn’t straight, but it still looks like it’s placed messyjustperfect, like in those IKEA commercials, where they recreate ‘a real life situation’ a simulate untidyness.

Note to self; clean room when home.

I need to get more organized. I need to get a calendar, and write down my working hours and due dates. N’urgh. I think I want to get a white board that has the upcoming two weeks. But then… wouldn’t it become confusing when the first week is finished? Do you just rewrite the second week or

I can’t wait to get my new school schedule. (: I wonder what my electives will be? I have NO idea which ones I plan on taking. … I want to take yoga.

It was so funny last night, singing karaoke and doing winsane’s nails (lykwtfwe’renotgirlywhatshappeningherethisisfun) and wearing IloveNY shirts and becca not knowing anything about Pokemon it’s sad and ridiculous and me knowing too much about pokemon it’s sad and ridiculous and Becca is asking me: ‘Are you typing everything we’ve been saying?’ and I said no and she said ‘Aw ’cause then I’d just say more stuff to make you type faster.’ I like it here. (:

We played Life. Becca is SUCH a superstar. Winsane is good with managing our money. I break the spinning wheel. Scategories is fun. What’s something you replace, that beings with the letter M? Men. What’s something you find in the middle of the road that starts with the letter E? Emo.

I’m looking through Winsane’s sketchbook. It’s scary sometimes, how you don’t realize how talented someone you’re close to, really is. Like: How did I not know this? She’s just so good at capturing looks and angles and even when her sketches are bad, they’re good, and then:

‘Ahaha, I like how she’s just standing on a mountain.’
‘… THAT’S NOT A MOUNTAIN?!’

(Turned out they were angel wings.)

(When I get my own room in my own appartment, I want to paint the walls blue and have them match Fuji Mountain painting, with the wave and the boat people and Mt.Fuji in the distance. That’s what I want, I’m sure of it. And then maybe I’ll get a small black and white picture of Marilyne Manson Monroe in a little thick black frame, on my headboard. To complete the look. Mount Fuji, mmm.)

I kind of want to buy a sketchbook. As if that would make me a good artiste.

Winsane wants to chew on a dog, but what else is new?

Aww, Becca is gone.

First thing we say: ‘So… you hungry?’

QUESTION OF THE DAY.

Ew. baby biscuits.

WTF SHE JUST SHOVED ONE DOWN MY HOODIE.

Wow, it’s 4:15. We’re still in our PJs. I love winsane.

Just not her baby biscuits.

Oh.

They’re actually not that bad.

Wow.

Don’t tell Winsane I like them.

(she has nice denim midnight stretch nails. I approve)

OKAY NOW I’M GOING TO GO WITH WINSANE.

becauseshescool&IwanthotdogsWHOO.